Monday, November 19, 2012

HELP WANTED: Campaign Driver for Lt. Governor Tim Murray

With the state’s unemployment rate up to 6.6%, we were recently perusing the classified section of the newspaper and stumbled upon the following advertisement. In light of the recent media reports surrounding Sheila Burgess, the now former director of the Massachusetts Highway Safety Division, we thought she might be interested in applying.

Wanted for immediate employment: Individual with spotty driving record to be responsible for day-to-day driving of gubernatorial hopeful. Interested candidate MUST have over 30 entries on driving record including multiple accidents and failure to stop for a police officer. What the preferred applicant lacks in driving ability, they will make up with access to numerous political acquaintances. Occasional pre-dawn driving on Mass Pike may be required. Competitive $85,000+ salary and benefits. Applicants must apply in person to Room 360 of the Massachusetts State House.